Strings – Kamina A. Fitzgerald Ed.D.

The school bell has rung, class is now in session.

Have you ever heard the old adage Misery Loves Company? If you have observed a miserable person, they usually do not like to be alone. Let me preface this by saying I am not talking about when someone feels miserable or sad in general; I am talking about those who like to perpetually remain in that state.

So, why don’t people who are constantly miserable like to be alone? Because they normally feel compelled to share it with others. The two types of people they look for are those with a miserable disposition like theirs, and a Good Listener.

GooD Listeners BEwaRE

Good Listeners are people who are:

Fully present, when people are sharing information with them.
Do not listen to respond, but listens to process and understand what is being said.
Do not interrupt, and usually react in the moment.
Ask follow up questions and talk less than they listen.

It is no wonder a Miserable Person, seeks out Good Listeners. The very nature of a Good Listener makes the Miserable Person feel somewhat justified in what they are complaining about or doing because the Good Listener usually will not criticize, interrupt or make them feel bad.

humorous illustration of woman and her mental vampire toxic friend

As time goes on, if the Good Listener begins to offer friendly advice that is contrary to what the Miserable Person would like to hear, the end of their communication is inevitable. Guard the Ear Gate, it is ok to listen to people, but if the majority of their dialogue is full of self-pity and negativity, close the gate, like your well-being depended on it, because it does.

Fellow Miserable People BeWaRe

The other person that Miserable People seek out are Fellow Miserable People. Because they are always miserable, and have driven people who are happy and content away; they begin to observe their surroundings, looking for family members, associates or co-workers who would be willing to join forces with them.

They listen intently and watch, in order to identify someone whose countenance is constantly down and always complaining about this or that. This is not talking about the occasional complaint or disagreement, but the person who is like this the majority of the time.

Misery Likes Company Dating Agency. Yup, this was the place.

Fellow Miserable People please BeWare. Your misery may be temporary, but if a true Miserable Person latches on, it will be like falling into a quicksand of negativity. The more one tries to move, the further they will sink.

Advice to the Miserable Person

If you are constantly feeling miserable, it stems from something and it would be wise to start from within to find out the origin of the misery bondage. Ask yourself, When did I start to feel miserable all of the time? What event took place to contribute to this state of mind? Did it develop after constantly entertaining the conversation of a Fellow Miserable Person?

I want you to realize that MISERY is a state of bondage, it is not healthy for your well-being and is within your control to be set free. Take those negative thoughts captive and bring them into the obedience of Christ.

Stop looking for people to share in your negativity and take it to the Lord in prayer.

Most of the time, when that dark cloud floats over your mind, it will completely take over your senses. It will fog your thinking, and make you feel victimized, and downtrodden. If you do nothing, but seek out Good listeners and Fellow Miserable People, you will start to deteriorate mentally and physically and will eventually being devoured. Good Listeners and Fellow Miserable People are human beings, and can do nothing to set you free, but I am here to give you hope and tell you there is Victory in Jesus Christ.