Two Faces: Are We Talking About the Same Person?

The school bell has rung, class is now in session.

Have you ever had a conversation with a person about someone you both knew, and it appeared as if you two are talking about different people?

This experience can be quite disheartening because you get a sense that your relationship with that person was a total farce.

There was a time when I worked with a group of people. I would have described my relationships with those people as pretty good. I respected their opinions, and spoke highly of them to others.

After I stopped working there, I met someone by the name of Ruggs. (fictitious name) Ruggs work with the same group of people that I worked with previously. As time went on, Ruggs and I had an opportunity to talk more. I ended up mentioning how excited I was to hear that Ruggs worked in my previous place of employment, and asked how some of my old co-workers were doing? Ruggs said they were fine. I told Ruggs how much I enjoyed my co-workers, and I missed working with them. Ruggs gave me a strange look.

I asked what the look was for? Ruggs gave me a sympathetic look, and said not in so many words, that was not how some of my old co-workers spoke about me. Ruggs even named a couple of people specifically. I asked if we were talking about the same people because I had great experiences with them. Ruggs shrugged.

My experiences were obviously not one hundred percent authentic. Have you been in a situation like this before? It can really make everything seem topsy turvy. There are people I have learned from, admired and respected who do not have a high opinion of me, but that does not have to take away from the skills I have gained from them.

You do not have to always do something too someone for them to not like you. It could be that you remind them of a certain person, or maybe they heard rumors about you, and allowed those to influence their opinion of you. Either way, you have to see it as a learning experience.

Some people wear two faces. When they are around you, they pretend they like and respect you, but for some reason if they are around someone who speaks negatively about you, they choose to join into the conversation without a second thought.

‘You must be really into recycling. Mommy says you’re always talking trash.’

Do not let this bother you, the bible says to pray for those who despitefully use you. (Matthew 5:44)

I pray that these people will be convicted of the toxicity in their lives and that they will realize their need for a savior; so their hearts will be transformed.

If you are a person who feels peer-pressured into talking negatively about someone that you know is good, I pray for your strength to stop participating. If you have to do that to fit in with a group, they are not your real friends, and are doing the same thing to you.

The school bell has rung, class dismissed.

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